I will admit, however, that I have
been looking forward to this weekend.
Dan is in Chimoio from Friday until Sunday, which means that I have the
house to myself for nearly 58 hours. At
first, I considered going with him.
Chimoio is the capital of Manica province and has all sorts
of good things—Indian food, ice cream, Internet—for the deprived and greedy volunteer. In the end, though, I decided to stay behind
and enjoy my free time. For the first time ever, I was going to act
the part of a single white female, living alone in Africa.
At the beginning of the day, I took my job very
seriously. I started by eating a
spoonful of Malawi peanut butter directly from the jar. Then, I walked to the market and bought a
pack of crackers. I chose not to cook lunch for myself, opting instead to read sixteen chapters of Harry Potter e a Cámara Secreta.
As the day wore on, however, my
joy became tainted with paranoia. The
energy had been out all day and I realized that the possibility of spending the
night alone—in the dark—was quickly becoming a reality. My priorities shifted. Suddenly, I was nailing windows shut, fishing
for candles, and asking the neighbor boy to come and look under the bed in the
back room.
The energy has since returned (it
returned in a whoosh of lamps and
stereos that made all the children cheer), but this single white female has found
it hard to go to sleep. Instead, she
found herself curled up under the mosquito net, writing “The Single Girl’s Guide
to Sleeping Alone in Africa” (alternately titled, “What’s that Noise!?”), by
the light of not one, but two
electric bulbs. Here’s an excerpt of this latest literary masterpiece:
* * * * *
Description of Noise
There are lots of scary noises in
the middle of the night! Most of these
noises have natural causes and have little or nothing to do with the man that
is standing outside your window. Use
this handy guide to find a rational explanation for the sounds that are keeping
you awake!
A Sudden, Loud CRACK
- Inside the House: Don’t worry! What you heard were pieces of the house breaking off and falling down. There should be no problems as long as the resulting holes are not large enough to crawl through.
- Outside the House: Not your problem. What’s outside can’t get in (unless, of course, that hole was large enough to crawl through…)
- On the Roof: Probably just children throwing bricks onto your tin roof. They’re just being friendly!
Strange Hissing Noises
- Gas leak, hissing cockroaches, or Mozambican spitting cobras. Just watch where you put your feet.
Rattling on the Grate
- Probably just the dog, sleeping against the door. When the dog scratches his fleas, it rattles the metal grate and makes a sound suspiciously like a tall man with a machete trying to get in. But it’s not! Usually…
- It’s time to pray! The Muslim call to prayer sounds five times a day between 5AM and 10PM.
Sharp, Sudden Screams in the Yard
- The next door neighbor is probably bewitched, again. Don’t go outside or you’ll get bewitched, too!
* * * * *
That’s all I have for now, but I’m
sure that the list of strange noises will grow as the night wears on. Trust me, I hear all of them. There is also the “Was that me who just shook the bed?” sensation
and the “Now it’s quiet. Too quiet.” sensation.
The night crawls by, inch by inch, on little, itchy cockroach legs.
I’m not really a single girl in
Africa, of course. But I am discovering
just how hard it can be. As such, I’d
like to dedicate this small post to my good friend Steph Newton, who really
does spend every night alone in the dark.
Not only is she surviving, but she is succeeding and doing good work.
There are many different types of
bravery, and the ladies of the Peace Corps are some of the most courageous
young women that I have ever met.
If you’d like to read about a
single woman living alone in a village without electricity, try reading Steph’s
blog, here:
She’s upbeat, smart, and funny,
which always makes for a good read.
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